crossroads

So i stand here today almost 24 and actually excited about my future. Ive been terrified of my future for most of my life and its a milestone in my life to say that i can glance down the road with a smile on my face. Its been incredibly difficult these last few years to even realize i had a future much less look down that road seeing it. And i know that it is all God, all his grace and love poured over my life that has gotten me as far as i have come today.

Has it been easy? no, not at all, ive been on top of mountains and through storms. Ive cried out in despair, pleaded for something different and even wondered if God even cared at times, but looking back on it now, i feel silly questioning and wondering. After every storm ive endured, the sun has come out and gods glory and love has shone over me in amazing ways.

So today i stand here almost 24 years old, standing strong, with God by my side, riding the storms when they come knowing that the sun will come when its over. 24 years of wondering and hiding, fighting  to get to where i am now, not knowing that only with God could i get there. 
so 24 years!

24 years and a huge future ahead of me. :)

Thank you God for loving me so much !

A glimpse of the book i am writing . "About Hope."

I had everything planned. This was my last day on earth. I shoved my notebook in my purse, kissed my little sisters forhead and jumped into the van with sam and olan. I was going to church and end my life shortly afterwards.


I sat in my usual spot behind the crowd. My hair covered my face as i stared feircly at the ground. I taught myself how to feel nothing . I completly shut down and learned how to be numb. This became my automatic reaction to complications in life and a day to day coping mechnism. It was my way of hiding.

"i quickly found out that you can't hide from God"

........

My heart raced as forbidden tears ran down my face. i was determined though, i had allready made up my mind!"
" i wouldn't let Him in, I woldnt let anyone in. today was my last day.. This was a feeling i didnt really want to live . ''

The service ended and befre i could make it out of the doubledoors i was tapped on the shoulder and asked to jion the youth for milkshakes. I hestatly agreed and spent the last hour with a melting milkshake in my shaking hands as God deseratly reached his nail scarred hands out to me. It was then that i knew He was real! It was then that i knew someone, somewhere heard my screams !!!!

i put my milkshake down, walked to the youth pastor and for the first time in my life handed my whole heart over to God, ad recieved a gift of life .

i died that night ! but not how i planned ....


'Therefore if any man be in Christ He is a new creation ; old things are passed away; all things become new.     2 cor. 5:17'

I became a new creation

Battle

here i stand in a place i called home standing in the isle between the rows of pews on each side of me staring into my enemy eyes and an army of blurred faces all ready for battle against me . I stared back at him in defeat knowing that i had noone behind me... He smiled as if he knows that he has allready won.



He steped toward me swiftly with no fear as i felt the hair on my arms stand up. He looked into my eyes and gave me a choice... He said "" i will give you your life back if you give up what you love, or for your life i will let what you love live ""



And so i handed over my life and my heart for what i loved most in my life... and with a grin on his face he raised his hand and as if the world fell out from under my fingertips darkness fell upon me once again and all the blurred faces prepared for battle against me turned into all the faces i love the most.



coinfusion spread across every inch of my soul as i fell to my knees closed my eyes and tried to find one last glimpse of hope ina prayer.



Thunder spread across the sky and shook the bed i slept in as i shot up with tears in my eyes. the thunder roared and the wind swept through the window and it hit me........ i cant win . not alone . 


But with my God i have allready won!

Hey guys !!

So this is my first official blog on here !!! Whooo

So i originally created this blog to advertise my shirts that i create, but i feel like this could be so much more than just a blog created solely for my shirts .

Threads of hope is not all about a collection of clothes made from the word of God.

Threads of hope is a collection of achievements, testimonies and life lessons to encourage and bring hope to others !!


I hope you enjoy :)





<3 ,
Christin